Begin, again.

When the old feeling of indifference comes to play, withdrawal has become my commonplace.

It is convenient. And when goes unnoticed, life goes on for everyone as it should.

Buried in the chaos of obligations and uncertainties, I try to thrive. Do my best to get along. But the wallflower that I am, confining myself to self-delusion is the only way to survive.

I longed the quiet. I yearned the distant corner where you can just be with your thoughts. Dreaming. Ruminating of a perfect world that will never be.

Truthfully, I also want to have close connections other than my better half. But I want truthful exchanges, and an unbiased assessment of the world. Unfortunately in my space, you can only choose one. You keep the friend and shun the truth.

So I began to press the keys instead and allowed the fingers to dance freely. And once again, I began to breath, while thumping myself out of the congested air.

God may have not given me the mouth to utter my deepest thoughts with composure, yet He gave me the ability to transcribe my emotions with skill. And I will not ask for anything different. Because coming home to yourself is a journey worth taking.

a thought

Tick, tock, tick,tock
Uttered the restless clock
But there’s nothing to do
On a day painted blue.

Click, tap, click, tap
Hitting the keys and tabs
Trying to make some sense
Of all this gloominess.

Hoo, jingle, hoo, jingle
The chimes and wind mingle
Luring my lazy head
To just drift off instead.

melancholy

Morning breeze
Brushed the cheek
Trying to greet
His gloomy spirit.

Breakfast calling
Coffee brewing
Everyone expecting
To see him beaming.

But he sat in bed
Stared empty instead
Glanced at the clock
Hope no one knocks.

Just another day
Just like yesterday
Like the day before
He’ll pass once more.